insomnia series

Insomnia, III

I can’t sleep without him in the room with me, but he doesn’t want me in his bed.  I sleep under his foot board, arrange his books so they make a comfortable platform. I can sleep an hour at a time this way. I get up around 2 and wander the streets; I think no one can tell I’m a girl because I wear a knit hat and a puffy down coat.  I stare into the windows of other people who can’t sleep.

This time, I watch a man drag a child down the sidewalk past me. But I don’t wanna, the child says, trying to pull his sleeve free — It’s okay, the man says, a baseball cap covering his eyes. Their voices disappear into the park and I realize that this may be the dream where I’m invisible.

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